How to identify and deal with gaslighting at work

Gaslighting in the workplace is a harmful tactic used to manipulate and control others. It aims to weaken your confidence, making you doubt your abilities, perceptions, and even memories. Often, it starts subtly, almost invisibly, but can grow over time, causing serious harm to your mental health, work performance, and relationships with colleagues.

Spotting the signs of gaslighting is essential for protecting your well-being and professional integrity. Recognising these behaviours early helps you stay aware of manipulation and equips you to respond appropriately.

This article examines the nature of gaslighting and offers clear insights to help you identify it quickly. You will also find practical strategies for addressing manipulative behaviour and creating a workplace culture built on respect, transparency, and trust.

The goal is to give you the tools and confidence needed to handle these challenges effectively. Your contributions deserve recognition in an environment free from harmful tactics and built on mutual respect.

What is gaslighting at work?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation designed to make you question your own experiences and sense of reality. In the workplace, this behaviour can appear in many forms.

Someone might deny a conversation ever took place, twist facts to suit their goals, or unfairly shift blame onto you. Unlike constructive feedback, which aims to support your growth, gaslighting seeks to control your emotions and leave you feeling unsure of yourself.

For example, you and a colleague might agree on specific actions during a meeting. Later, when you follow up, they deny ever making those agreements. This leaves you doubting your memory and judgement. Over time, such manipulation can erode your confidence, increase stress, and create a negative work environment that harms your well-being.

Recognising gaslighting is essential for protecting your mental health and performing effectively. Understanding how it works allows you to take steps to safeguard yourself and contribute to a workplace culture where honesty, respect, and fairness are valued.

Why gaslighting occurs in the workplace

Gaslighting often comes from a need for control, insecurity, or a desire for power. It can appear in competitive workplaces where some individuals feel threatened by others’ skills or success.

In these cases, gaslighting becomes a tool to undermine others and maintain control. Skilled and confident people may be made to seem less capable, protecting the gaslighter’s position.

This behaviour thrives in workplaces without clear boundaries, policies, or accountability. When authority goes unchecked, managers or influential individuals may feel free to manipulate others without consequence. This creates an unhealthy culture where power imbalances remain unchallenged.

Signs of gaslighting in the workplace

Knowing how to identify gaslighting at work can help you address it before it causes serious damage. Here are some tell-tale signs:

Denial of conversations or agreements: Gaslighters may deny past conversations or agreements, accusing you of misremembering or inventing events. This can make you doubt your memory, reliability, and understanding of situations.

Selective memory: They often remember only details that support their viewpoint, conveniently forgetting anything that challenges them. This distorts events and makes you feel your perspective is wrong.

Hidden criticism: Gaslighters may hide criticism within compliments or advice. Phrases like, “You are doing well, considering your limitations,” seem supportive but are designed to undermine your confidence over time.

Exclusion from decisions: They may leave you out of meetings or important discussions, creating gaps in your knowledge. This tactic reduces your confidence and limits your ability to contribute effectively.

Shifting blame: Gaslighters often avoid responsibility by blaming others. If something goes wrong, they might suggest you misunderstood them, rather than admitting their instructions were unclear. This creates guilt and confusion, reinforcing their control.

Each of these behaviours is aimed at undermining your confidence, control, and sense of stability. Recognising them is the first step to protecting yourself, allowing you to address the behaviour and begin rebuilding a healthier, more supportive work environment.

Real-life scenarios of gaslighting at work

Exclusion from meetings: A colleague repeatedly leaves you out of project meetings and later says, “I thought you already knew.” Over time, this can make you feel isolated, disconnected from your team, and uncertain about your role.

Inconsistent feedback: A manager publicly praises your work but privately criticises you. This mixed messaging creates confusion, leaving you unsure of your abilities and overly reliant on their approval.

These behaviours can erode confidence and create unhealthy power dynamics. Recognising them is essential for building a workplace culture based on respect, transparency, and mutual support.

Psychological effects of gaslighting

Gaslighting can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and self-doubt. Those affected may become overly cautious, constantly questioning their thoughts, perceptions, and decisions. This emotional strain can reduce productivity, job satisfaction, and even lead to signs of depression.

Over time, gaslighting can cause individuals to feel disconnected from their own identity, leading to isolation and a loss of trust in their own judgement. This erodes confidence and self-esteem.

Recognising the harm gaslighting causes to mental health is crucial for addressing it early and promoting both personal well-being and a positive workplace.

Strategies for dealing with gaslighting at work

In order to successfully address gaslighting, it requires a blend of awareness, assertiveness, and strategic action.

Keep detailed notes: Record conversations, instructions, and agreements to protect yourself against gaslighting. Notes provide a reliable record if disputes arise.

Save emails and messages: Email records offer a timestamped reference that captures the details and tone of discussions, helping in case of conflicts.

Request written confirmation: For verbal agreements, ask for written confirmation to create a clear record of what was agreed upon.

Use meeting minutes: Suggest recording meeting minutes or summaries to ensure accountability and reduce misunderstandings.

Set clear boundaries: Establish firm boundaries to promote respectful and healthy workplace interactions, protecting your well-being.

Reinforce self-worth: Use positive affirmations to remind yourself of your strengths and maintain confidence when faced with manipulation.

Visualise your achievements and focus on building them. Keep your sense of reality strong and don’t let the gaslighter’s tactics affect your view or diminish your success.

Seeking support in the workplace

To address gaslighting in the workplace, it’s important to take a proactive approach. Together, these steps help create a supportive environment and protect your well-being.

Reach out to HR or trusted colleagues: If you feel someone is undermining you, talk to HR or trusted colleagues. Sharing documented interactions, like emails or notes, can help them understand the situation and support you. This reassures you that you’re not alone.

Connect with mentors or allies: Mentors and supportive colleagues can offer valuable advice and emotional support. They help you gain clarity, strengthen your self-worth, and build resilience.

Access mental health support: If gaslighting affects your well-being, consider speaking with a workplace coach or mental health professional. They can help you manage stress, rebuild confidence, and navigate challenges more clearly.

Seeking support from HR, mentors, colleagues, and mental health professionals helps protect your well-being, ensuring you stay confident and composed in difficult situations.

Addressing gaslighting on a broader scale

To address gaslighting effectively, it’s crucial to understand its complexity. Recognising its signs allows individuals and organisations to create a supportive, respectful work culture. Here are key steps to promote transparency, trust, and respect in the workplace.

Creating a culture of transparency and open communication helps reduce gaslighting. When leaders prioritise honest dialogue, manipulative behaviours are less likely to thrive. A workplace based on trust allows employees to voice concerns without fear of retaliation.

Regular check-ins and surveys provide valuable feedback, helping to identify and address issues early. When employees feel heard and valued, it fosters mutual respect and support, boosting morale and creating a healthier, more resilient environment.

Training and education for recognising gaslighting

Training on gaslighting awareness and psychological safety equips employees to recognise and prevent manipulation. This training is especially valuable for managers, who help create a positive work environment. With the right guidance, managers can foster open, respectful communication.

Awareness of gaslighting signs empowers employees to speak up and feel valued. For managers, it provides the tools to support trust, encourage dialogue, and prevent manipulation.

Prioritising such training helps build a healthy, transparent culture where everyone feels supported. It strengthens both individual well-being and team resilience, ensuring a respectful workplace for all.

In summary

Understanding and addressing gaslighting is key to fostering a respectful, healthy workplace. Organisations that promote transparency, accountability, and open communication can prevent manipulative behaviours. Encouraging employees to document interactions, set boundaries, and trust their perceptions builds respect and trust within the team.

Gaslighting can severely affect mental well-being and job performance. However, recognising its signs early and using strategies to counteract them helps protect yourself and promote a supportive work environment. To learn more, read our article, Are You Being Quiet Fired?

Resources

Gaslighting At Work: Targeted, Attacked, and Falsely Accused of Yelling and Mental Illness.
Gaslighting: How to recognise manipulative and emotionally abusive people – and break free.
The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life.